Second Chances
by Whiitewolf
Summary: Bellamy confesses his feelings to Clarke, and she shares them. But before she can start something, she has to tell him about the village. Can he forgive her? Will she get a second chance? Or is there no hope for them?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: **I am writing so much 100 lately. I love this show. So much.  
Either way, this story is set after the Mount Weather battle.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own 'The 100' or any of its characters.

* * *

She was avoiding him. Ever since they'd got back from Mount Weather, where he'd stupidly confessed his love for her when they saw each other again. The look in her eyes as she ran forward to embrace him had him convinced that the feelings were reciprocated. There was a relief in her eyes. Relief that he was okay. He'd longed to kiss her on the forehead, but instead, as they broke apart... He'd told her how he loved her.

It was stupid.

Because now here they were, back at camp, and while most of the camp was busy worrying about their alliance with the grounders... He was busy worrying about Clarke Griffin.

She hadn't said it back. In fact, she'd hardly said a word the entire way back. She had only spoken to him when she'd had to. Now that they were back, she was free to avoid him.

"Bellamy?"

His sister's voice interrupted his self pitying thoughts. He looked over at her as they walked through the woods.

"She's probably confused. She and Finn had something and..." Her voice trailed off. "It doesn't mean she doesn't feel the same way."

It made sense. He didn't bother to ask her how she'd known, but he nodded.

"Shouldn't you be off doing your grounder training?" he asked in a desperate attempt to change the subject. He had been surprised when she'd come along with him when he'd left.

"They're taking a few days to deal with their wounded."

It made sense, but now the conversation had turned into silence. At least it was off the topic of him and Clarke, and his stupid, thoughtless mistake. But as his sister gave him a sympathetic look, he made a decision.

"We have to go back."

His sister nodded her agreement. And she didn't seem surprised.

"I need to straighten this out with her right now."

***~ Second Chances ~***

Thankfully, he'd left for a bit. This meant she could roam the camp without Bellamy's puppy dog eyes following her every move. Bellamy Blake proved difficult to avoid. He wasn't the only one she was avoiding. She couldn't even face Kane, or her mother. And most of the camp kept trying to ask her about the grounder alliance. Would it be over?

She wanted to have some faith in Lexa, that their alliance would still stand.

Unfortunately, she couldn't be sure. And it wasn't even her first thought right now. Some leader she was. Her mind was on Bellamy Blake and his confession. Had he only said it because he'd thought they were about to die? Even if he meant it, he wouldn't still after he found out what she did. Sure, Octavia was okay, but it didn't change the fact that she could be dead because of her decision to not warn her.

It'd been logical. Rational. But would anyone get it? Of course, she wanted to whisper it to Octavia so she could disappear. But Octavia wouldn't have been able to walk away and leave everyone else behind. She'd have blown the whistle.

It had been for the greater good. To take down the mountain men and prevent years of suffering. However, her mother didn't get it, and Bellamy would not understand her decision to leave his sister to die. Frankly, she almost couldn't understand it either.

All this, and she hadn't stopped to think about it, but she loved him too.

"Clarke."

He'd taken her by surprise. She turned around to see the Blake siblings standing behind her. They hadn't been gone for very long at all, and she could see Octavia about to leave the two of them alone.

Before she'd had a chance to respond, Bellamy had grabbed her arm to steer her somewhere more private.

"I can walk myself. Thanks," Clarke told him shaking him off.

"Suit yourself, but we have to talk. You can't avoid me forever."

And of course he was right. The serious expression on his face caused an unexpected flutter in her chest.

"Alright," she agreed, averting her eyes. Looking at him proved to be too difficult. What would she see? Regret?

She followed him over behind the ship. As they moved near to the fence, she tried to size him up. What was he thinking?

"About what I said..." he started, suddenly at a loss for words. Her eyes now watched his every move, trying to take in every hint in his expression... Something to give her a clue at what he was about to say. Should she be prepared for heartbreak?

"We can forget about it. It's okay," Clarke assured him. "We were in a life threatening situation."

"No. That's not what I was getting at," Bellamy objected. "We've been in those before, and I haven't felt the need to confess my feelings to the closest person." The way his eyes opened wider, and the shock that registered, she could have sworn he looked offended by her 'forget about it' comment.

What was he saying? That he did love her?

"I meant what I said." He was watching her now. He expected her to say something. There was a pleading look in his eyes. He wanted her to return the sentiment. Bellamy Blake was not the type of person to leave himself vulnerable to hurt, and here he was, laying it all out for her. She had the power to crush him now, and he seriously hoped she didn't.

"I... It's not that I don't feel the same way Bellamy, it's-"

"Do you?"

"Do I what?" she asked, feeling annoyed at the interruption.

"Feel the same way."

As the silence continued on, he felt his nerves getting worse. Just say something one way or the other, he silently pleaded. That way I can move on.

"Yes, but-"

Instantaneous relief. She felt the same way about him. His excitement caused him to miss the warning part in her tone. She loved _him. _The man who had caused the death of 300 on the ship. If she loved him, surely it meant she forgave him. Maybe that meant he could forgive himself.

"No buts. It doesn't matter."

"I've done some awful things, Bellamy."

He scoffed. She was telling him? She did remember the things he'd done, right?

"We all have. We did what we had to do." He reached out for her, and she pulled away. It was like a kick to the gut, and she had averted her eyes in order to not have to see the hurt expression on his face.

"You won't feel the same way once I tell you," she started. And she did. She had to tell him. They couldn't start something on a lie. He had to know what she'd done, and it was some miracle that he hadn't found out already. Raven knew she had gone to warn the village, but Raven also knew that the village had still been destroyed, yet Clarke and Lexa had disappeared beforehand. The pieces were all waiting to be connected.

"Tell me what?"

It was a lot harder to say than she imagined. It felt like a huge weight was pressing on her chest, and the words didn't want to come out. "I didn't warn them."

"Warn who?"

"The village."

Silence, once again, took over.

"I didn't warn them. Any of them. Lexa and I took off."

This time it was him that took a step back. "Not even Octavia?"

Her lack of response answered his question.

***~ Second Chances ~***

The way his jaw had clenched, allowing no words to escape, had left her feeling sick to her stomach. He'd run his hands through his hair as if he was trying to weigh everything. She'd just confessed to leaving his sister to die. His expression said it all. Without a word, he walked away.

She opened her mouth to stop him, but she knew there was no point. The disappointment, and hurt that had overcome his features spoke more than his words every would. And suddenly the lump in her throat was overwhelming her, and it felt like she couldn't breathe.

"Bellamy," she whispered in a useless attempt to keep her composure. The tears burned her eyes, and she desperately tried to blink them away. "I'm sorry."

Of course he couldn't hear her. He'd already stormed off, leaving her to obsess over the decision she'd made yet again.

***~ Second Chances ~***

When Clarke had told him she had to tell him something first, he hadn't been worried. He'd never expected it to be that. Raven had let it slip on the radio that his sister was in the village expected to be hit by the village. Clarke had lied to him about that, but in all his happiness to see her, he let it go.

Upon learning the village had been destroyed, he'd never imagined she'd not told his sister on purpose. He'd assumed, stupidly it seemed, that she hadn't made it in time. And as Octavia was alright, he'd thought nothing else of it.

To learn that Clarke had made it, and told _Lexa _and disappeared without so much as a warning to his sister? It was unfathomable. He couldn't admit it, but he understood why she didn't warn the village. It'd have given him away. They'd have lost their shot at the mountain men. But the girl he was in love with left his sister to die. That couldn't sit right with him, no matter how rational it may appear to be.

"You okay?"

Stopping in his tracks, he turned to look over at his sister. By the frown on her face, she had obviously figured it hadn't gone well.

"Fine," he mumbled back.

Her concerned frown turned into one of annoyance. "Uh uh. You don't get off that easy. Let's go."

It'd take him years, but Bellamy had long learned that you didn't argue with Octavia Blake. Reluctantly, he followed his sister to somewhere more private.

As they sat down around one of the few bonfires the camp had going, she watched him. He shifted uncomfortably, she was waiting for him to talk. And that stare was getting her way.

"It's not going to happen, O," he said, referring to a potential relationship between him and Clarke.

"She doesn't feel the same way?" Octavia prompted, feeling sorry for her older brother.

"It's not that."

"Then what?" She seemed taken back. What could possibly be preventing them from being together? "Is it Finn?"

He shook his head, but didn't offer an alternate reason.

"Then what?" Octavia demanded, clearly exasperated.

"She knew about the missile before it hit." He said it so quickly, and quietly, she almost missed it.

It caused a chill to run through her. All those people... She'd known. Clarke had _known. _She felt so hurt, so betrayed. So many parts of her wanted to understand, and a few even did, but it still stung. The relief on Clarke's face that she was alive, that was genuine. It didn't change anything, Octavia was hurt. But she was beginning to get it, but it wasn't a decision she'd have made. Perhaps that was it. Clarke knew she wouldn't keep it a secret. She wouldn't have gone along with the decision... Clarke had felt she had no choice but to keep it from her, no matter the potential cost.

"If everyone knew..." Bellamy trailed off.

That sentence shook Octavia out of her thoughts. "They can't."

"No, I know but-"

"If they knew, the alliance would fall apart for sure. None of the ark's people were killed."

Octavia was right, but he wasn't planning on telling anyone in the first place. People respected Clarke. They looked up to her. And they needed to be united.

"I just... I couldn't believe it."

"Was it her ideas, or Lexa's?" It had struck her as weird that Lexa, and Clarke came back with Lincoln, but with everything going on, she'd pushed those thoughts aside to focus on the task at hand.

"She didn't say, but does it matter?"

"Did you ask her why?"

"It doesn't matter why," Bellamy said, shaking his head.

"We know her, Bellamy. She fought so hard to save Jasper, and Finn. To save all of us."

He shrugged. He didn't know what to think, and he didn't care to know right now. Whatever her reasoning was, she'd left his sister to die. And nothing anyone could say would change that fact. "She left you to die," he started, "and I can't imagine losing you."

Octavia paused, of course that had been her first thought. Her friend hadn't warned her. Her friend had left her. "And that hurts, Bellamy, but I'm okay." Moving forward to the edge of the log, she bit her lip thoughtfully. "If she'd sounded the alarm, they'd have known we had an inside man. Don't think of it as she left me to die, Bellamy, think of it as she wanted to save you."

"O, I don't know if-"

"She wanted to save you, and the 47. The good of the many, right?"

It made sense. It was logical. It sounded like Octavia could forgive her, but for some reason, it didn't change a thing. Not right now. He couldn't forgive Clarke. But where did the sick feeling in his stomach come from when he considered never talking to her again?


	2. Chapter 2

Now he was avoiding her. Oh, how the tables had turned. Every time she caught sight of him, he'd quickly look away and walk off in the other direction. A couple times, she had called out his name, but he wasn't having it. He'd either pretend he couldn't hear her, or if there were a bunch of people around, he'd tell her he was busy. That he couldn't talk right then. It'd been over a week, and somehow, he'd manged to keep this up.

From the way Octavia would immediately avert her eyes when she got close, she got the distinct feeling that Bellamy had told her, too.

She saw him now, and he was distracted. Bellamy was sitting around one of the camp fires eating his dinner. Perhaps it was her chance to talk to him. If she could catch him off guard, maybe she could convince him to listen to her for two seconds instead of storming away like an overgrown child. As she approached, she could feel the warmth of the flames.

"Bellamy."

He turned to face her, and judging by the fallen expression on his face, she was the last person he wanted to see. He quickly swallowed. "What do you want?" He got to his feet, and she could feel her heart hammering in her chest as he glared down at her. She'd fought grounders, been taken hostage, killed people... And here she was, intimidated by Bellamy Bake.

There it was. That familiar, cold tone he used to use on her when they'd first landed. The tone he'd used to let her know that she wasn't one of his 'people.' That he disliked where she came from. One of the privileged. And now he was using it on her because she left his sister to die. She'd been used to it before, but now it was different.

"I just want to talk."

"You want to talk, Clarke? Or you want to lie?" His eyes narrowed, and the plate was set down. "Because when we spoke, you told me Octavia wasn't there. That was your first mistake. Your first lie."

"Bell-"

"Then you had the nerve to go all the way there, rescue the commander, and leave my sister to die. I'd say that was your second mistake."

"Please, just listen."

Her desperation almost convinced him. The way she bit her lip to the way she ran her hand anxiously through her hair. And, of course, the regret that was plastered all over her face.

"Your third mistake," he began, looking away from her. "Your third mistake was coming over here and expecting me to listen to whatever pathetic excuse you have lined up in your head."

"I'm sorry."

"Are you?" He stepped closer to her, his eyes searching hers for the truth. "Would you do it differently?"

There it was. Her answer was written so clearly in the silence.

"You'd do it exactly the same?"

"Bellamy, listen, you have to understand.'

"I don't have to do anything, Clarke. You just admitted to me that you'd still leave my sister to die, after everything."

She took in a trembling breath. Everything had turned out. Octavia was alive. Their people, rescued, and brought home safe. How could she say she'd do things differently? She knew it was what he wanted to hear, but she couldn't bring herself to lie.

The fire crackled, and sparks landed at her feet. He hadn't walked away, not yet, but she knew it was only a matter of time.

"I didn't... It was the only way. They'd known you were there..."

"I'm done. We're done. I don't care to hear any more." He reached down for his bag.

The tightness in her chest increased. She almost forgot how to speak. There was something so final about this conversation, and she began to fear that he was telling the truth. "Bellamy-"

"Do you want to know how done I am, Clarke?"

Her throat began to ache as she swallowed the lump in it. She used all her effort to try and prevent the tears from falling.

"I am so done that if I had an opportunity to save you, to warn you... I wouldn't."

Each word left its mark. They stung. The words stung more than any battle wounds she'd endured. And as he walked away, she didn't try to stop him.

Clarke Griffin had never felt more alone in her life. She'd lost her father, killed Finn... Left that village to die which resulted in her own mother, and Octavia avoiding her... Raven, though claiming to now understand, still wouldn't speak to her unless she had to. And now, she watched Bellamy walk away, without so much as a glance back... What had she become that everyone she cared about left her?

***~ Second Chances ~***

It hurt him to walk away, and he could hear her short breaths. A part of him wanted to turn around, and hug her, and assure her he didn't mean what he said. Him and Octavia had a good talk the day he found this all out, but he still couldn't bring himself to talk to her.

The words had been harsh, in so many ways, he'd just told her he didn't care if she lived or died. And that was a lie. It didn't change the fact he'd said it.

He couldn't look back, because if he did, he'd cave in to the hurt he would see.

***~ Second Chances ~***

She needed air. And she needed to be alone. It'd been two days, and so far, nothing had improved. As she walked through the woods, she had a sick feeling she was being followed. She dismissed it as paranoia. Ever since they'd landed, they'd been in constant danger. So far, the alliance with the grounders had held strong. In fact, though she didn't want to jinx it, she could have sworn that they were almost developing a friendship.

They'd taken up exchanging supplies. They'd given the grounders some of the medical supplies, and in turn, the grounders had supplied them with some warm blankets. The grounders had a lot of experience with the winter, and it was their first. They needed the warmth, and any tips the grounders could share with them.

It would be naive to assume that all was completely well and fine. Even after the war they'd won together, it was likely a few grounders still felt anger towards them.

So far, it was the most peaceful walk she'd had since she'd arrived. Though a bit worried, she actually got to stop and enjoy the sights. Much like the first walk they took, but even then, that was a mission. And it had ended in Jasper being speared.

There was an opening in the trees ahead, and as she walked through it, more sun seeped through the roof of the forest. As she stepped out into the clearing, she noticed the body of water. It wasn't large, but it looked so inviting.

Slipping out her boots, pants, and shirt, she approached. Her first step in proved to be a lot colder than she'd expected, and she almost turned around to abandon the idea. Trying to build up her courage, she took another hesitant step. It felt like the water nipped at her, so cold it was causing her pain. There was no way she could keep doing this one step at a time. She had to move faster. And she did, and she desperately tried to ignore the way the cold water made it difficult to breathe. By the time she'd gotten to her hips, her feet no longer hurt. The coldness had made them numb. She took one more step in, expecting to go a little bit deeper, but she slipped under.

The ground had suddenly broken off, and there was an unexpected dip. She felt paralyzed, and she couldn't be sure whether it was the cold, or the fear. Scrambling, she tried to step backwards to find solid ground again, but her feet could find it. And after growing up on the ark, she'd never learned how to swim.


End file.
